I saw a similar post regarding how to make your website overcomplicated and waste time as a goal. Thought I’d do something similar for Containers.
Enjoy,
Steve Addington

How to Waste a Bunch of Time on Containers (Instead of Just Using VMs)If your goal is to squander countless hours on infrastructure while serving just a handful of users, containers are your ultimate time sink. Virtual machines (VMs) are far too straightforward for this purpose—containers provide the perfect maze of complexity to keep you busy. Here’s how to maximize your time-wasting potential when choosing containers over VMs, with an extra twist for overengineering scalability for your tiny user base.

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1. Install a Million Container Images from Docker HubWhy craft lean, purpose-built containers when you can pull massive, unverified images from Docker Hub? Embrace the chaos of third-party images stuffed with mysterious dependencies. The more dependencies, the better!When (inevitably) those images break—because a random maintainer updated a library or vanished—you’ll spend hours debugging cryptic errors, rebuilding images, or scouring for replacements. Since you likely don’t understand what’s in those images, troubleshooting becomes a full-time gig. Keep swapping broken images for new ones, and repeat this cycle endlessly. Your time-wasting mission is off to a great start!

2. Adopt Kubernetes Before You Need ItWhy opt for a simple VM setup when you can dive into the deep end with Kubernetes? Adopt this beast of an orchestrator even if you’re only running a single container for a few users. The setup—complete with YAML configs, namespaces, and obscure CRDs—will consume weeks of your life.Every tweak to your setup means hours deciphering Kubernetes docs or debugging why your pod is stuck in a CrashLoopBackoff. Need to update your app? First, wrestle with Kubernetes’ latest release notes. For a handful of users, this is overkill of the highest order, ensuring maximum time wastage.

3. Always Require a Complex Build PipelineNever run a container directly—always wedge an elaborate CI/CD pipeline between your code and deployment. Layer in tools like Jenkins, ArgoCD, or Tekton, and configure them to rebuild images on every commit. The more stages in your pipeline, the merrier.Each step is a chance for failure: a misconfigured Dockerfile, an incompatible base image, or a flaky registry connection. Debugging these will keep you occupied for days, ensuring you’re tinkering with the pipeline instead of your actual application. VMs, with their simple “install and run” approach, can’t match this level of time-sinking glory.

4. Overengineer Scalability for Your Handful of UsersYou’re only serving a tiny group—maybe five or six people—but why keep it simple? Build a fully scalable containerized architecture just in case one more person joins the team. Implement auto-scaling with Kubernetes Horizontal Pod Autoscalers, set up load balancers, and configure multi-region container registries for that hypothetical seventh user.Spend days fine-tuning resource limits, scaling policies, and monitoring tools to handle this imaginary surge in demand. When that extra user never materializes, you’ll have burned countless hours on unnecessary complexity. Bonus: maintaining this overengineered setup will eat up even more time as you patch, monitor, and troubleshoot systems that serve no real purpose for your tiny audience.

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Why Containers Beat VMs for Wasting TimeVMs are dull and reliable—spin them up, install your software, and they just work. Containers, however, are a playground of complexity. From juggling container runtimes (Docker? Podman? CRI-O?) to wrestling with overlay networks and storage drivers, every step invites configuration chaos. Add in the scalability overkill for your handful of users, and you’ve got a recipe for endless tinkering. When things break, you’ll plunge into a vortex of logs, system calls, and Stack Overflow threads, while VM users are deploying apps and relaxing.By overloading on container images, adopting Kubernetes prematurely, enforcing convoluted build pipelines, and overengineering scalability for a nonexistent user surge, you’ll ensure your time and energy are gloriously wasted. Containers aren’t just a technology—they’re a commitment to endless complexity. Mission accomplished!