Alright 2020 was a shitty year for almost everyone except for those rich billionaires. I take it back. Bill Gates seemed to have had a shitty year too. Maybe he should start surfing. Mark Zuckerberg was even hydrofoiling in a lake with an American flag in hand for the 4th of July. So fucking patriotic. I want that image wiped out of my brain. Give me some Heneiken and valium now.

Negative thoughts and visions aside. I challenge everyone of you to start surfing in 2021. Like just do it. You’ll have fun. I mean maybe after the fact the first day is hard but, it is the stories after you can tell. When I was 18 I got a bad ass shortboard from a lady friend at a bargain of 200 bucks the board itself was 500+ USD. She said I stole it. I immediately got stoned and headed to a studio recording session and left it in my blue Toyota pickup trick. After multiple loads of tobacco and marijuana, I nodded out in the studio. The studio at the time was right next to Broadway in Eureka, California. What a good start to becoming a surfer dude huh?

I didn’t realize the board was gone until I drove all the way down to the College of the Redwoods when I realized that hey, my board is missing. I thought maybe it flew out of the back while driving. Or maybe one of those Hawaiians outside Big Mike’s dorm room took it. Big Mike was working parking security at that time at the college. What a pornstud. I had him look at the security videos. Only thing he saw was his roommate Mitch doing donuts in his white pickup truck. Mitch recently got this truck after him and I thought it would be fun to go drifting in his old Volkswagen “Rally” Golf car right outside the College of the Redwoods. The car soon flipped after three corners. We backed up into the side of a hill and rolled. McDonald’s Cheese burgers and brand new copies of GTA 5 for the Xbox flew everywhere. All of us 5 guys escaped with minor cuts and scrapes.

Anyway there were no signs of any Hawaiians stealing my board. This was probably around 2014 when I lost that board. I wouldn’t get a new board until 2021. This time it was a Ponto 7’4″ mid length. I first got the Patagonia wetsuit a few weeks before just incase some buddy would let me borrow their board when we went out. After a night of heavy drinking, on a worknight, I woke up so depressed with girl issues that I had an epiphany. I felt like dying but, I wasn’t going to die killing myself in my room like a sad boy. I’ll go out like a pornstud. I’ll go out in the ocean. Maybe get eaten by a shark. Who wants to live forever anyway I thought. I lived in fear in 2020 because of a virus. I lost who I was. Oasyc broke up. I broke up again from an on and off girlfriend so I realized I don’t have much going on right now. I couldn’t go traveling to Asia yet as work and other country travel policies were quite strict and a big hassle. Not to mention super expensive.

I took a long lunch break from work that day. Probably sometime in late May. I headed down to a place called the shop in Arcata and purchased the Ponto board. I wouldn’t take it out to the ocean until I got my second vaccination of Moderna. It was a funny thing I had in my head. If I were to die from the vaccine, I would have felt like a bitch. So I decided to go surfing instead. All by myself in Moonstone. Didn’t even let anyone know except for a quick snapchat of me saying “I got the sickness for the waves, baby.” I loaded up on Corona Premiers and headed out to the ocean.

Panic quickly set in as it was clear I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I kept drifting further and further out into sea. I couldn’t feel the ground anymore. Trying to paddle back onto shore, I felt like I wasn’t making any progress. Oh shit, I thought this is it. Was I ready to die? Not really. Doing some math in my head, I figured I could at least be floating adrift for an hour or so before I probably get too tired and cold. Oh and the shot from the vaccination was making my arm and shoulder feel extremely tight. Not good. I got hit and flipped so many directions. Fatigue was setting in. Mostly caused by panic. Realizing that it was panic. I calmed myself down and accepted the ocean as being in control. While making this realization, a wave pushed my surfboard and I closer into shore. Thank you Jesus and Buddha! I was able to feel the ground again.

As you expected I didn’t do much riding on day 1 but, after the experience of almost dying. I went to the bars with Jenny my sister, Jonny Oasyc, and Ryan the photographer. I had a blast telling them about my adventure. I felt like a pornstud. My confidence around women also began to feel a lot different. Maybe it’s because 2020 was a social isolating event that I was a little rusty but, when meeting new women I always ask myself now, “Is she my wave?”

Go surfing in 2021 you pornstuds. Get fit, get that adrenaline going. You’ll feel great. This will also unlock other places around the world where you never thought you wanted to visit until now. Indo here I come!